Sunday. Wow. It was pretty freaking intense.
Went to work with mom; told her of my weekend. She seemed impressed with me. Not only did I manage to have fun [yes children, fun] at TGIF, but I managed to make some pretty damn good brownies. Also, I cleaned my room yet again and even changed my cat-bloodied bed.
I thought Shane and I had decided to hang out yesterday, so I got home and called to see if he'd gotten home from work yet, and apparently he wasn't home. So I decided to let out some crazy emotions that have been building up for quite some time.
Anyone with half a brain that knows me know's that Anessa + emotions = baaaad.
I grabbed some flammable stuff [ie: journals], took them outside, and proceeded to induce a certain chemical reaction. When I got back inside, I couldn't stop crying. I broke a lot of things and hugged Potter too hard.
For some reason, I just feel insanely lost. Out of control, even. As I write this, I feel very detatched. It's almost as if I'm not Anessa, anymore. No matter what I do or say, it's always wrong. Somebody always gets angry with me.
I should be angry that Shane didn't come over/tell me he wasn't coming over, but I'm just thankful that he didn't have to see me like that, as the situation was quite inevitable whether he was here or not. He's super, and I'm quite enjoying this "not being up each other's asses" thing. I didn't know it, but I really needed some alone time to think certain things over.. and also to play with fire. So, thank you, my taco, for not coming over. You were the catalyst that I needed.
Ondo is snoring very loudly. I can hear him from clear in the other room.
I need a hug and a cuddle.